Helena
Compassion through unprecedented times
Its been a while since I last posted anything on this site but if I am honest, I don’t think I really knew what I wanted to say until now..
I’m sure for all of us, its been a very trying few weeks and we are all struggling to keep some semblance of normality in our lives, where we can.. which is tricky given that these are not normal times!
If I am completely truthful, I have found it really hard to adjust.. and I wanted to just share with you some of the things I’ve been struggling with so that you know you are not alone… and also share with you some of the things I have been doing to manage or adapt to these changes….
Having gone from being busy as a coach/hypnotherapist with my regular clients, engaging some ones and watching a developing coaching business in schools start to flourish, I’ve found it tough to put a pause on that.. Schools are closed with no date on when they will reopen, and many of my clients prefer face-to-face interaction so its been a challenge to move to other ways of working with them (which isn’t as scary as I thought it would be!), or delaying appointments until the lockdown is over.. However it doesn’t change the fact that I now have much less income which is something I worry about every day! So I have been brave and done something I really didn’t want to do and that’s go back to being a pharmacist. I have very mixed feelings about this, as I do enjoy pharmacy and am pretty good at it (well, I used to be anyway!) But having given it up to follow my dreams, it feels a bit like I have failed….. Clearly with the current circumstances, you could argue that I’ve had little choice over this – we need another income and the pharmacy world needs extra support. But my inner critic doesn’t always see it that way! In her eyes, I couldn’t hack it in my dream career! And is she right?? Deep down I know she isn’t but its been tough dealing with her incessant badmouthing.. my dream has been put temporarily on hold whilst I use my experience and expertise in another area… I can still continue to coach (and I am doing so!) AND I been given the opportunity to be a bit creative about how and where I deliver my services. Now is the time to maximise those technological resources like video calls and even simply using the telephone..
Becoming a school teacher wasn’t necessarily on my list of things I wanted to achieve this year, however I was prepared to give it a go. To begin with, I admit I was a little OCD about this and really came down hard on my kids giving them a fairly strict timetable and expecting them to follow it willingly! This obviously didn’t work and after we’d all had a bit of a meltdown, we have become a lot more flexible about how and when we do schoolwork. But its taken A LOT of patience, understanding and courage for me to step back and stop worrying that my kids future is going to be destroyed by the current crisis! Fortunately for my kids, school have been really proficient in setting work so I’m now in the mindset of feeling happier if they just crack on as and when they can and ask for support when they need it.. Luckily, my kids support each other with some of the tricky maths questions – they are definitely NOT my forte!! I have to keep reminding myself that they will be ok, though.. They will have time to catch up when they get back to school. And all kids will be in the same boat anyway, and I have every confidence that all schools will have a plan in place to manage this once we finally get back to normal!!
Usually, during the week, I used to enjoy having the house to myself for most of the day. Now I am dealing with a house permanently full of people…. Either needing me for something or wanting to talk as they are bored or distracted. As someone who both needs and really enjoys her own space, on her own, I am really struggling with this.. It feels like everywhere I go in the house, there is someone there!! Aarrgghhhh!! Having severe restrictions on our freedom to go out and about has impacted on this too… one period of exercise a day and one trip to the supermarket is tough.. Although I do totally understand and support that direction at the moment; doesn’t mean I have to like it!! So, I am having to set some boundaries in my own home; closing the door to my loved ones and asking them to give me some space… Luckily, I have my office/therapy room which is my happy place and the weather has been kind so sitting peacefully in the garden has helped.. I have also been making the time to practice mindfulness – whether that’s meditating, painting, baking or just sitting reading a book, I’ve needed it.. For those of you who struggle with finding the time/space to switch off and relax, I have made a number of relaxation tracks available for free on my Resources page of my website – please feel free to access and use them!! They’re quite short (10-15 minutes long) and, listened through headphones, may just help you find some peace and quiet away from everyone else!
